We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I am naked and annoyed.
Someone signed my nipple.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
