I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
