I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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