Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
