You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
