he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
