she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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