so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Randomize
