Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
