Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
