i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
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