i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
