Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
