Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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