I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
