I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Randomize
