On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize