you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Are my feet made of real feet?
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
