he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
