Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I just googled if crying burns calories
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
