My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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