You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
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