I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
