Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
