Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
