Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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