i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I would fuck him just for his dog
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