i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
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