If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize
