I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
