oh god the rape fog is back!
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
