I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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