All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
