Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
