who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
