It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I just threw up on my dentist
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
