Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
