Sry I called you an 8
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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