In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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