the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
