I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
