I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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