its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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