Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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