i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
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