i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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