Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Randomize
