i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
