I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
