we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
