i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
