In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
