would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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