White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
