We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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