So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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