You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
