he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
