I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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