He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
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