he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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