Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
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