guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
i would one night stand the shit outta him
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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