what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
We need a shit load of segways right now
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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