I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Randomize
