it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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