I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Randomize
