I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Randomize
