The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
