I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize