She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
