I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
