She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
