If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Randomize
