i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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