my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
